Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
