The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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