hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
