It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
