I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
