Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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