You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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