I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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