We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
babies were throwing up all over the place
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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