you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
