I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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