I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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