just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
