You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
