Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
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