So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
