No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
