Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize