plz talk dirty to me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Couch. On fire.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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