theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
