I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
