they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
