Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
