He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
