I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
