a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
