tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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