dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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