i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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