the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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