Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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