I think im going to throw up on grandma
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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