I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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