just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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