im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
