She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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