Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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