apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
