i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
