There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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