Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
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I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary