ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.