My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it