Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair