So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
