I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize