I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
