We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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