i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
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I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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