I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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