I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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