Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
