yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
