I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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