she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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