batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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