i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
