mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
