My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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