I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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