legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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