did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She's JV to your varsity
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
