You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
