you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
