who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
