Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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