my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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