You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
