paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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