I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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