I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
