did you get engaged???
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not