Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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