HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
do herpes really smell.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
