Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
